Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby! With Your Valentine

Today’s topic: Decluttering emotional baggage in your marriage.

If you like the idea of 2024 being the year you and your husband stop fighting and start fostering a more harmonious relationship, watch the video and hear about our next Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby! ™ Turnaround weekend for battle-weary wives coming April 19-21. 

Welcome to Spring!

March 19th marks the beginning of spring in the U.S., and since Punxsutawney Phil didn't see his shadow last month, we know spring is on the way!

This month, learn how to use the Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby™ technique to declutter emotional baggage in your marriage.

And just in case you’re new to our Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby! mini-series read about how it all began here — it saved my marriage!  

How to Stop, Drop, and Roll with Your Husband

1. Stop fueling the flame of blame.
   
   The first step in our decluttering journey is to recognize our emotional baggage, much of which has been accumulated over years and stacked on like logs to fuel the blame. And acknowledge that both partners play a role in the clutter of misunderstandings and unresolved issues that are the fallout of our baggage.
   
   Instead of dwelling on past mistakes and fueling the flame of blame, embrace the idea that a clutter-free marriage starts by embracing this Truth in the name of love: It doesn’t matter who or what started the argument. What matters is that you stop adding to the flames.
   
   Stop contributing to and escalating the fighting. Stop trying to 'make' your husband understand your point of view. Stop saying, "Yes, but” after everything he says.
   
   Instead, stop feeding the fire by saying with warmth in your voice and love in your heart:
   
   “I see we’re butting heads. How about we stop the blame game and work together to clear the emotional clutter between us? Let’s take a break and come back in a little while to talk things over.”
   
   Then, physically walk away from the conversation.* 
   
   

2. Drop unrealistic expectations.
   
   To create a clean slate, drop any unrealistic expectations you have for your husband to agree with what you’re saying, apologize for what he’s done, or fix your hurt feelings.
   
   Use your time away to reflect on the triggers that lead to your (not his) emotional clutter. What patterns have you noticed? What personal areas need attention?
   

3. Roll into self-care and love mode.
   
   Now that you’ve stopped fueling the fire and dropped unrealistic expectations, it’s time to roll into self-care and renewal activities.
   
   Use this time away to engage in activities that promote emotional renewal.
   
   Go for a walk, practice mindfulness, pull an Oracle deck card for insight, or do something creative that brings you joy. Anything that restores your feeling of centeredness and inner calm is what you’ll roll into.
   

* Don't push for reconciliation if you or your husband isn’t ready to talk. Instead, communicate the need for more time by saying:

“I’m still upset and need some more time to calm down. Let’s talk about this tomorrow at a specific time.”

All it takes is one person in the relationship to stop, drop, and roll to smother the flames. Then, when it’s time, you’ll return to the conversation feeling inner-centered, emotionally balanced, and ready to invite conversation. 

Happy decluttering, ladies!