Intro
I Don't Know Which Connectors To Begin Chats With
I Know Which Connectors To Begin Chats With But I'm Not Doing It
I'm Beginning Chats With Connectors & Not Getting A Response
I'm Chatting With Connectors But Not Asking Them To Promote
Connectors Are Agreeing To Promote Me But I'm Not Getting Clients
"connectors" Optimizer
INCREASE REFERRALS, JV PARTNERS, SPEAKING GIGS & PODCAST INTERVIEWS
INTRO
⭐ Start Here | How to Use The Optimizer
⭐ There is no straight line to success.
Success comes from a never-ending series of getting stuck and then breaking through... Getting stuck is simply part of the game.
If you want faster success, get great at diagnosing your stuck point and optimizing it quickly.
Step 1 | Find Your Stuck Point
There are many small steps to getting clients. Choose the step that you believe is the biggest constraint.
Step 2 | Open the Inner Game or Outer Game Drop Down
Don't overthink it. Sometimes an Outer Game strategy can shift an Inner Game issue and vice versa. If the dropdown shows daisies or stars, they are not in order. If numbered, follow the steps or questions in sequence.
Step 3 | Use this Guide Regularly
This Optimizer can be your Thrive on-demand Coach. When you inevitably get stuck, don't make yourself or anything else wrong.
Note | It's okay if some of the coaching below doesn't resonate with you. Sometimes, all it takes is 1 question, 1 perspective shift, or one practical strategy or tool to free you up to move to the next level of success.
1 | I DON'T KNOW WHICH CONNECTORS TO BEGIN CHATS WITH
⭐ Inner Game
⭐ Why would this person share me with their people?
1 | Great question! Let's answer it. :)
List 10 reasons why this Potential Referral or JV Partner, Event or Podcast Host would benefit from sharing you with their people.
You can copy and paste these possibilities onto your own document, and then edit them to make them fit you:
・Because I am kind and want the best for everyone.
・Because I will share commissions with the Connector.
・Because I have deep _____ (wisdom & compassion).
・Because I have learned a LOT about _____ (topic).
・Because I have ______ (credibility).
・Because I also have _________ (credibility).
・Because I have accomplished ________ (thing).
・Because my clients get _____ (results)
・Because my clients say _______ (good thing) about me.
・Because why not me!!!!!!
Keep this list close to you & as you grow, add to it.
2 | Also ask: "Why WOULDN'T they share you with their people?"
Most likely because you didn't ask. So... ask! Not because you have to be the best in the world...
But simply because people who ask get MORE of what they want in life.
⭐ Afraid of Not Being Taken Seriously?
This is a call to take yourself and your work more seriously.
To share your credibility in every Heartselling™ Conversation you have. And to commit to being known over being liked.
If someone doesn't get your intent to serve, there are thousands of other people who will. Find your people.
⭐ Shy or Introverted?
This means taking 15 minutes per day to begin chats with 3 people. The rest of your day you can be shy and introverted.
⭐ Health Challenges?
Take 10 times the time for self-care than you take to begin chats with people. So, if you begin chats with 3 people in 15 minutes, take 150 minutes for self-care.
⭐ Get Extra Support
Bring this to an:
⭐ Outer Game
⭐ There are 3 HUGE resources in the Thrive Shop ↗️
1 | The JV Directory is a searchable directory of over 1,000 coaches, event hosts, podcast hosts, and people all actively looking for JV's. They also host online networking events, where you can share your Code Statement and ask for JV Partners.
2 | Speakerunity is a directory of direct contact info of organizers and hosts of featured podcasts, summits and giveaways as well as seminars and conferences that are looking for experts and speakers.
3 | Infinite List is where you can join a monthly giveaway and have 20-30 people promoting your free gift (and building your email list) as you help them build theirs.
⭐ You are 1 degree away from over 100 Connectors
You probably know over 100 people who either:
a | is a leader of a community
b | knows someone who is a leader of a community
Go to Rock Your Pipelines to turn your contact lists into a Personal Goldmine of opportunity. ↗️
2 | I KNOW WHICH CONNECTORS TO BEGIN CHATS WITH BUT I'M NOT DOING IT
⭐ Inner Game
⭐ Remember your Greatness
1 | Describe a time when you reached out to someone you were scared to reach out to and it went really well.
2 | What do you think made it go so well?
3 | What would they be missing if you stay hidden?
⭐ Worried you're bugging people or being salesy?
If you use Thrive Templates, your messages are actually small bursts of kindness and support.
Only if they respond positively will you continue using this non-confrontational, non-salesy template that can lead to referrals or clients for you and a delightful experience for your people.
⭐ Worried about wasting your time?
It can be so frustrating to begin chats with people and see them go nowhere. You might start asking yourself, am I wasting my time?
Once you start asking this, you might find yourself quietly quitting (without ever deciding to do so).
Here's another way to look at it:
To win your game, you need to begin about 3 chats each day. Your job is to find the best people possible to talk with. People you genuinely like and enjoy supporting.
If you've tried this path hundreds of times... you've experimented with it and you've gotten coaching on it... and it's still not working... then try a new path.
But, don't do what many people do... try something once or twice or ten times and give up.
Double down on it. Triple down on it. Master it.
⭐ Explore your Fear
If you began a chat with someone...
1 | What are you afraid they might think of you?
2 | What might happen, if they thought that?
3 |What's the worst thing that could happen if they thought that?
4.| How likely is that worst thing to happen (1-100)?
5 | If you don’t talk with Promoters, how will you feel?
6 | What will happen if you don't talk with Promoters for 1 year?
7 | Who will you be letting down if this happens?
8| If you begin some chats, is it likely that some will appreciate it?
9 | How would you feel if you didn't let your fear stop you?
10 | What's possible if you prioritized service over fear?
⭐ Do The Work of Byron Katie on your belief ↗️
Another set of questions:
1 | What are you afraid they might think of you?
2 | Can you know for sure that your people will think of you that way?
3 | What is the impact of believing that?
4 | What would your life be like if you didn’t believe that?
5 | What is the opposite of that belief? Could that be as true (or truer)?
⭐ Have deeper concerns?
Go to the Private Message Warm Potential Clients template ↗️
Scroll to the the last 4 questions in the FAQ's to get the answers to:
1 | What If They are Annoyed that I’m Reaching Out to Them?
2| What If They Think I’m Just Reaching Out Because I Want 💰?
3 | What If They Don’t Respond to My Message?
⭐ Get Extra Support
Bring this to an:
⭐ Outer Game
⭐ Just Do it!
You’re amazing! Your people miss out if they don’t hear from you!
This is like a big water slide... the first few times it's scary. Then it gets much easier & more exciting.
Don't wait until you're inspired. Pull out your phone and get it done now. Then, give yourself a HUGE high 5 after!!!
⭐ Begin chats with a LOT of people in one day.
Prove to yourself that it’s not as hard and scary as you thought.
⭐ Do Self-Care before and after you begin the chats
Make the self-care exquisite... your favorite thing to do for yourself.
⭐ How to begin the chats
Go to Rock Your Pipelines for instructions on who to begin chats with and what templates to use. ↗️
3 | I'M BEGINNING CHATS WITH CONNECTORS & NOT GETTING A RESPONSE
⭐ Inner Game
NOT HEARING BACK FROM PEOPLE YOU KNOW
⭐ Question the Story You Make Up
Not hearing back from people you know can be painful... especially if you make up a hurtful story about it.
You might think:
・“They’re too busy for me.”
・“They don’t like me anymore.”
・“I'm annoying them.”
・"They think I want something from them."
But it might have NOTHING to do with you:
・They didn't see your message.
・They flagged your message for later.
・They're sick or caring for a sick loved one.
・They're exhausted and overcapacity.
・They're depressed and isolated.
⭐ Don’t be a Silent Killer
If you don’t check back in that 2nd or 3rd time, you’ll never know why they never got back to you… and you may actually be silently killing them off…
Meaning, there's a good chance you'll never talk with them again if you’re not the one to initiate.
⭐ Be the Leader (and give your inner kid some extra love)
Don't let your inner kid lead your business. You're the leader and it's your job to bring in clients... and to help your inner kid feel loved and safe.
Your inner kid may need some extra reassuring that you can do through meditation on a photo of your younger self or through journaling.
Once you've soothed your inner kid, reach out to that person a second or third time. You might find that your story of why they didn't get back to you was not true.
⭐ Get Extra Support
Bring this to an:
・Inner Game Thrive Event! ↗️
Outer Game ⭐
⭐ How Fully Did You Use a Thrive Template?
If you're not hearing back from people, ask yourself:
1 | On a scale from 1-10, how fully am I using the template?
2 | Am I letting my personality shine through the template?
⭐ Did You Take 2-3 minutes to read through their profile?
Then, personalize the template based on what you're connecting with most from their posts and profile.
The more engaging your opening chat is, the more likely you’ll hear back.
⭐ Show Your Private Messages to Your Coach
Your Success Coach can support you with where you're strong and how you can improve.
⭐ Send a Prayer (or Positive Intention) with Your Chats
Think of your messages as little blessings you’re sending out to the world. Expect those blessings to come back to you in the form of love and money.
⭐ Experiment with Your Chats
1 | Are you using the templates to create audio or video messages that convey your enthusiasm to connect? If not, try it!!!
2 | Notice which chats people respond positively to, Do more of that and less of what people are not responding to.
3 | Re-Read (or re-listen to) the chat you began and learn from it. Would you enjoy getting that message?
If not, add your special sauce to your next chat, until it’s something that you would genuinely want to respond to.
⭐ Reach out a 2nd and 3rd Time
Don't let your negative story win. If you need to, use the inner game coaching in the left column. And, then reach out a second or third time.
4 | I'M CHATTING WITH CONNECTORS BUT NOT ASKING THEM TO PROMOTE
⭐ Inner Game
⭐ Afraid they'll find out you wanted them to promote You?
Wouldn't it be great if you had no needs, gave selflessly and survived on air only? Gag..
Your needs are beautiful, including your desire to get promoted so you can share your gifts with more people!
If your desire for promotion sparks a conversation, GREAT!! Something good just happened on the planet. Follow that impulse baby!
Because when your self-interest aligns their self-interest, magic happens. .
⭐ Be Your Bold, Sassy Self
Pretending you don't care won't get you promoted.
Pretending you don't have needs or desires won't get you promoted.
Your bold, sassy self will get you promoted. Leaning into the partnership (while giving it up to the Highest Good) will get you promoted.
Now, go be your bold, sassy self, and inspire some connectors to promote you!
⭐ Get Extra Support
Bring this to an:
・Inner Game Thrive Event! ↗️
・Inner Game Specialty Call! ↗️
⭐ Outer Game
⭐ Go for No’s
Instead of holding your breath, trying to get only YES's... Go for no’s. More no’s mean more YES’s!!!
Challenge: I dare you to get 20 no's this week.
If you're up for this challenge, let us know in the Thrive FB Group!!!
⭐ Did you Make Any of these 4 Mistakes?
Open up a private message thread that fizzled out:
1 | Did you veer off the template (to avoid being bold) and accidentally land in the Friend Zone?
2 | Did you forget to share your credibility?
3 | Did you get overly verbose?
4 | Did you wait too long to ask them to promote you?
5 | Were you missing any of the 5 Elements: Connect, Serve, Acknowledge, Get Curious, Give them a Choice
Review the Thrive Template you used. What can you do better next time?
⭐ Be Bold
Ask them to promote you sooner in the conversation!
Risk asking too soon!
5 | CONNECTORS ARE AGREEING TO PROMOTE ME BUT I'M NOT GETTING CLIENTS
⭐ Inner Game
⭐ Are you afraid of being seen as demanding?
After someone agrees to promote you, it's essential to send them an email or private message, summarizing the details of your agreement.
If you're not sending the message, you might be afraid that they'll think you're demanding or that you don't trust them to do what they said they'd do.
The purpose of this message is to:
1 | Remind them of what you agreed to.
2 | Make sure you're on the same page.
3 | Make it more likely they'll follow through.
4 | Make it easier for them to promote you.
You'll see links to these message templates in the Outer Game Section (on the right) ➡️
⭐ Get Extra Support
Bring this to an:
⭐ Outer Game
⭐ There are 3 main reasons for this:
1 | They didn't actually promote you.
2 | They aren't trying hard to promote you.
3 | They don't have much promotional power.
⭐ They didn't actually promote you.
1 | Are you gently holding them accountable to promoting you?
There is a message template you can use to summarize your agreements towards the bottom of each of these 3 templates:
・Get Referral Template ↗️
・Create JV Partnerships Template ↗️
・Book Speaking Events Template ↗️
Edit those message templates before the call so you can message them right after you get the agreement.
2 | Are you following up with them?
Hey _____! I was excited to support _____ (Name), but I didn't see your message come through. I just wanted to circle back to see if I missed it or if there's any support you need.
⭐ They aren't trying hard to promote you.
1 | Was there enough benefit for them?
People are busy & stressed. They act in their own self-interest.
Even if they like you and want the world to hear about you... if they don't benefit from promoting you, they probably won't try that hard.
If you want them to try harder, give them a self-serving incentive to promote you (money, gifts, sessions).
2 | Do you have a clear agreement as to how they promote you?
They might have promised to send an email to their email list but then only sent it to a small portion of their list.
Or instead of giving them a message to post or send to a friend, you let them write it and they didn't do a great job describing your work...
Make sure it's clear what they're going to do (and give them the support to do it).
⭐ They don't have much promotional power.
Some people may try hard to promote you but they don't have enough people following them to make a dent.
Recommit to finding more Connectors (and more influential Connectors) to partner with.
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